Memoirs of a Wedding Singer

It's been several years since I left the band I was with.

As I reflect upon my life --the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, (does that mean I'm getting old?), I look upon my experiences with the band with fondness and know that those memories will stay with me forever.

Music is in my blood. Every fiber of my being somehow has music attached to it. I think it's a DNA thing. Both parents are musicians and teachers, both grandmothers were entertainers, my Nana a piano player back in the days of silent films and my Grammy a Broadway dancer. Seems to me that I wasn't left with much of a choice in the matter!

When I was 30, (okay, now I'm dating myself), I joined what's referred to as a GB (General Business) band. Our primary function was weddings. That's how it started. For the first year we did weddings that were booked prior to my joining. Lucky for us these folks didn't choose another band when they discovered that the singer they thought would be there was in fact going to be me. The singer they'd booked from the video tape had left and I was taking her place.

The weddings were fun. I loved singing the bride and groom's special songs and somehow added to their day. I liked being the emcee. I enjoyed having to be upbeat and "on" even on those days when I felt "off". It was good therapy! Oh, and let's not forget the singing part. Yes, that's my heart and to me one of the best forms of self expression going.

As I think back, I suppose I liked the attention, too. I didn't want too much, but when someone came up to me on my break and said how wonderful the music was, it felt good.

The band and I had excellent chemistry. Chemistry is there or it isn't -- you can't force it just as with any relationship. I think I laughed more on my gigs than at any other time. We'd joke on stage or the keyboard player would make "funny" sounds with his keys while I was in the middle of a song, TRYING to make me laugh and sometimes succeeding. Imagine singing "Crazy" while "burp" sounds are going off in the background! Boy, did I have to bite my tongue a lot! Sometimes, it didn't work and I actually lost it during a song. Oh, when that happened the entire band was in stitches and all I could do was muster up the self control needed to keep going, hoping that the folks dancing didn't notice. Sometimes, they did, and they laughed at us having such a good time! But, don't let that give you the wrong impression. We were definitely professional. A little laughter didn't take that away.

Whenever a wedding ended, I got a great feeling when the bride and groom thanked us for doing a great job. What a feeling of satisfaction that was! Even with aching feet, a tired body and a worn voice, I was uplifted by their comments.

Now, you may be saying, "Hey, if this was so great, why did she leave?"

I say, "Good question."

Life is change -- change is life. We finished out the wedding bookings for the year and began doing club work more and more and got a few wedding bookings from that. Things were a bit unsteady when our guitar player left; so the leader of the band held off on doing a promotional wedding video. Now, that's important if you want more wedding gigs. When prospective brides and grooms go into a function hall and want to see videos of bands, they want to see who is with the band NOW, not 2 years ago. Otherwise, they have to go to the club where the band is playing to hear how they really sound. That can be a slight inconvenience, especially if they lived a distance from where we were playing.

Needless to say, without a promotional tape, our weddings decreased and the clubs increased. It got to the point where we were doing three or four weekends in a row; as opposed to the two or three weddings per month. Also, the pay at a four hour wedding is much better than working four hours, two nights in a row, (eight hours total) at a club. Not that money was my motive. It wasn't. But, it was nice to work a wedding and make what I'd bust my "you know what" working a whole weekend at a club!

So, after about a year and a half of the bookings increasing, (the clubs loved us), I had to make a choice.

Everything in life, (and if you've read some of my other material you'll know I mean this), requires balance. Working most weekends was tiring and was putting a strain on my fiance and I. He went to a lot of gigs with me because working in a club environment is much different than doing a wedding. You know, there's a bit more trouble to be found. Luckily, my experience with the band was pretty much trouble free. Although I must say that there were many folks at weddings who'd tip a few too many and loved to jump up on stage, grab the microphone and belt away! (Those times were funny, and there were some people who were pretty damn good)!

Back to the choice. It was a tough one. If only...but we don't live in an "if only" world. The bookings were not going to lighten up -- as a matter of fact it was the opposite. We had definitely become a club band -- no longer doing weddings as our primary gigs. And, the music was getting a bit stale, although I introduced a lot of new material to the band. I also play keys so I could work out tunes at home.

I digress.

On New Years Eve, 1999-2000, I sang with the band for the last time. It wasn't an easy decision, but one I had to make. Although painful at the time, I must say that with pain comes growth. I never would have started my e-book and landed a contract if I were still with the band. I wouldn't be a contributor on various writing sites if I were still with the band. I had to put my creative energies somewhere and they landed upon the cyber pages of the Internet. I am glad for that.

And music hasn't left me. It can't. It would be like cutting off my right arm. I still play, still sing, still sit in occasionally. I even reunited with the band at my sister's wedding this past November and it was GREAT! Just like yesterday. That same ol' chemistry was there, not to be broken by time. We laughed just like we always did.

When my father plays his solo gig in a small restaurant/bar, we go see him and I've been know to sit and play/sing a few at the end of the night. It brings back wonderful feelings and I love making people happy. When I hear, "Could you sing 'this or that', it feels terrific. (However, it's quite embarrassing when I don't know the tune....)

Who knows? Maybe someday I'll pick up a solo gig somewhere...
© Ellen M. DuBois

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