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Course Of Treatment
Course Of Treatment by: Wayne and Tamara
Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 23, 2004 My husband is 45. We are getting ready to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. He now tells me he has fun when he is out of town in a group of people drinking, talking, and laughing. He says we don't have a "spark" anymore. But our sex life is good. He swears he hasn't met anyone or been unfaithful. He says he can't have fun with me. He feels we are "just coasting" and is not sure where to go from here. Any advice? Grace Grace, whatever your husband says, it looks to us like the old story of the iceberg. Ten percent is visible, and 90 percent is not. You know the 10 percent. What has he been thinking about, planning, or flirting with for the last one, two, or three years? He may be on the progression which goes like this: I have fun drinking and laughing with others--we've grown apart--I love you but I'm not in love with you--I need more space--I'm out the door. You need to keep talking about this issue with your husband. If he believes your marriage is in a rut, it is a "we" who are in a rut, not a "you." You don't let the surgeon say, "We found a lump," and walk away from you. You have to buttonhole him and find out what the next step is. As you discuss your husband's feelings and the future of your marriage, you must, as distasteful as it seems, keep one thought in the back of your mind. What is in my best interest? You are approaching your 25th anniversary, and it would be wonderful to celebrate the length of your union. That may be where you would like things to go, but it may not be where things are headed. Wayne & Tamara
Stand-In My husband and I moved very fast in getting married. On my end, I was lost and lonely after my former fiancé was killed in an accident. I wanted to be close to someone again. I dated my husband 12 months after my fiancé's death, and six months later we were married. That was 10 months ago. I was never a "must be in a relationship" type of woman. But I was very sad after losing my fiancé and having to let go of the dreams I had for our life together. I believe this is why I jumped so quickly. I do love my husband, I want him to be safe and happy, but I can't be married to him. He's not a bad person--he doesn't cheat or drink or smoke. It's nothing like that. We simply do not connect intellectually or have any common interests. Some days I think to myself, how can I deal with this incompatibility day in and day out for the rest of my life? I cannot continue in this marriage. I've already come to that conclusion. The painful part is leaving. I am dreading that. Five months after we married, I decided to move out and put down a deposit on an apartment. He was sad and crying, so I stayed. But I feel if I stay with someone I have so little in common with, I am cheating myself from what marriage can be. Brooke Brooke, you have explained so clearly what happened. It is picture perfect clear to us. You had all these plans in your head, another man came along, and you applied these plans to him. You have to sit down with your husband and explain to him what you explained to us. Admit your mistake, then act. Delay, vacillation, and letting him argue will only prolong the pain. His refusal to accept what you say won't change the facts. Coddling another often only makes things worse, even though the original mistake was our own. Wayne & Tamara
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5 Tips To Select The Best Wedding Reception Location Being disc jockeys, we get the opportunity to evaluate many reception facilities while having little or no bias to “sell” one location over another. Most Brides and Grooms know where they will be hol....... Fashionably Late Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 6, 2003 What can a couple say and do when they have been late in getting wedding thank yous out to people? We have been married two years, with two se....... Wedding Day Hair Styles - A Top Ten Checklist The big day is fast approaching, and the energy of the moment sweeps you up. But does it carry your hair along too? Use the following checklist to ensure your wedding day hair is everything you dream it will be: 1. Which stylist? Make book.... Top Ways to Save on Wedding Invitations Some of the first things you’ll spend money on when you decide to get married (besides the ring) are the wedding invitations. While you want your invitations to be classy, unique and of good quality,....... Planning a Special Wedding Shower The wedding shower is a traditional party of the marriage process. Often times the bridal party, or the people who have been asked to be in the wedding, will through the party for the couple. Or, oth....... Poor Little Rabbit: The Runaway Bride The airwaves crackle with speculation about the Georgia woman who just couldn't face her long-planned wedding. Law enforcement is deciding if they should prosecute or try to recoup the almost 100,000 dollars spent when it was believed that she had been a..... A Beach Wedding Cake Looking for a beach theme wedding cake? When it comes to wedding cakes, long gone are the days of following tradition. Since you are considering a beach theme wedding cake, you are obviously not a slave to those traditions. So...let's..... How to Plan Your Wedding and Honeymoon 1. Weddings typically can cost you anywhere around $15,000 or more. The big question is: who foots the bill? The 21st century has heralded a shift in the way these costs are handled. We have moved aw....... The Financial Power of Gay Weddings – Q & A The Financial Power of Gay Weddings – Q & A Q. Why should people consider gay unions financially profitable? A. Gay weddings may not be legal just yet, but commitment ceremonies occur regularly thr....... Why Diets Are A Waste Of Time & Money - What You Can Do Instead A 'diet' is always seen as a temporary measure. An unpleasant episode that must be endured in order to reach some weight target, often in time for a major event such as a wedding, your own or your children's. Afterwards, with a big sigh of ....... A Wedding That Works For Every Season In ancient times many a future bride and groom would consult the Tarot cards to see which month the stars said was perfect for their wedding. When the sun or moon sign were inline with Venus who us ....... Dressing Your Bridesmaids For a bride, shopping for bridesmaid dresses can be one of the most difficult aspects of wedding planning. How can the bride find a gown for her maids that will display her own taste, look great on e....... Wedding Rings – Through the Ages and for All Eternity The exact origin of the wedding ring is uncertain and is rife with superstition and mythology. Papyruses dating back to the ancient Egyptian civilization depict wedding rings, and historians credit t....... 6 Useful Tips to Cut Wedding Costs Weddings are very nice occasions people want to attend to. But they can be time consuming and demand enormous attention on the part of the couple with lots of things to prepare for, in order for thei....... How To Look Great On Your Wedding Day Looking great on your wedding day means being radiant, relaxed, and ready to start a brand new existence with the person whom you've chosen to spend your life with. Your hair, nails, makeup, dress – ....... There’s More to Wedding Invitations Than You Might Think Everybody talks about wedding invitations, but what about all the other terms and items that are associated with them. Below are explanations of some of the more common terms and items that you’ll p....... The A To Z Guide For Your Wedding Day Attendants Attendants, include the best man, Bridesmaid, ushers, and groomsmen. Generally any people with some sort of responsibility on the big day. How many attendants are up to you but you need to....... How to Make Your Wedding Vows Something You’ll Remember Forever If you’re going the increasingly popular route of personalizing your own wedding vows, you’re probably looking for some tips to make your vows as special, meaningful, and eloquent as you can. This is something that will take time beforehand so that you ca.... Your Best is Not For Saving Your Best Is Not For Saving My mother-in-law received a set of sterling silver flatware as a wedding gift. She kept the silver in a wooden box on a top shelf. As far as I know, she only used the silver on the rare occasions when she hosted h.... Organising your Wedding Stationery Of all the things you need to do, buy and organize in preparation for your wedding, wedding stationery is something that must be planned ahead. After all, you need to let your guests know well in ad....... New Option for Brides Brides, There is a New Choice Brides there is a new choice when you are looking to plan that dream wedding, Anthony Chisom and his business Anthony Chisom Interiors. Anthony Chisom is a Wedding/Event Planner and Floral Designer in Dallas, Te.... The History Behind Traditional Anniversay Gifts Nobody can say with any amount of certainty when the tradition of giving anniversary gifts started. Most probably it evolved over time. Traditionally, each wedding anniversary is celebrated by giving....... Wedding Cake Design through History The design of the traditional wedding cake has varied greatly over time. Once a sign of fertility, the wedding cake of the Roman Empire was made of wheat or Barley. The small cake was then broken ove....... Nine Ways to Save Money on Wedding Photography Weddings are memorable events couples and their families want to remember forever, and what better way to capture these moments than by a camera. Weddings may be gone, but the feeling of joy will alw....... Marking Togetherness: Beyond the Unity Candle By now, surely everyone's familiar with the unity candle, but did you know there are other unification ceremonies to choose from when planning your wedding? Although the unity candle seems to have be....... Wedding Loans: Perfect Finance Option for a Perfect Wedding After seeing each other for years and being tagged as ‘in love’ since eternity, you desire to bring this to a logical end. You are wrong if you think I am suggesting a divorce even before you are actually married. The end to every love is wedding -the wed.... Marking Togetherness: Beyond the Unity Candle By now, surely everyone's familiar with the unity candle, but did you know there are other unification ceremonies to choose from when planning your wedding? Although the unity candle seems to have been with us forever, in reality it's only about...... Earrings Through Time Earrings – I think of them as the finishing touch to your look. They complete your fashion statement. There are earrings for all occasions – the board room, work, casual outings, your wedding, a night on the town, or a day at the beach. They can bring out.... How to Plan Your Wedding and Honeymoon. How to Plan Your Wedding and Honeymoon. 1. Weddings typically can cost you anywhere around $15,000 or more. The big question is: who foots the bill? The 21st century has heralded a shift in the way these costs are handled. 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Whereas women have worn wedding rings for eons, men have not. The use of rings as a symbol of everlasting love enshrined in marriage can be traced back thousands of yea.... 3 Ways to Cut Cost on Wedding Flowers With all the things you’ll have to worry about paying for when it comes to your wedding, you won’t want to have to spend a lot of cash for slightly smaller things, like accents, decorations, and flow....... Learn More About the Las Vegas Weddings Chapel Las Vegas weddings is a well-known las Vegas chapel that has been featured on the Jay Leno show, the Travel channel, the Discovery channel, and A&E, among others. Featuring Eddie Powers as a popular Elvis impersonator, this las Vegas wedding chapel has a.... Little Chapel of the Flowers The Las Vegas Review Journal poll voted this las Vegas chapel the best among numerous others. Nevada magazine selected The Little Chapel of Flowers as the best las Vegas wedding chapel in southern Nevada. Bride’s Magazine and several television programs l.... Tips For Your Wedding Weddings are a lot of fun, but they can also be a lot of hassle and a lot of stress. In many cases, just a week or two before a wedding, the stress is so high that the bride and groom joke about elop....... THE BEAUTY OF ROSES For centuries roses have carried a certain mystique. They are a symbol for love, Valentine’s Day, and are used in weddings, and for anniversaries. Their scent is a delicate fragrance that lets a passer-by stop and take notice. Colors vary and several vari.... |
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